Have you or a loved one exploded into a cloud of pink mist for no apparent reason in the span of the past two decades? If you answered yes, then you have yet to be introduced to the wonders of NathanCorp.
Many years ago, our benevolent and all-knowing founder, Your Fearless Leader, decided to create an institution to better the lives of average people throughout the globe. That institution, for various reasons, became known as NathanCorp. As their first order of business, NathanCorp designed the C.L.O.S.E.T. S.P.A.C.E. division to facilitate the company’s goals and actions to the public. Thus, Operation "Make Stuff Better For People Against Their Will" was commenced. The project was a great success, as is any endeavor taken on by NathanCorp, and quality of life was vastly improved upon in an array of vague, indistinguishable, yet undeniably real ways.
However, due to a freak accident, which was in no way the fault of NathanCorp, a unique brand of auditory radiation was inadvertently unleashed on the public. For years people were spontaneously exploding into clouds of pink mist. Despite being the masterful critical thinker that he is, Your Fearless Leader handles the “Big Picture” company projects. As much as he wanted to devote time to saving millions of lives from succumbing to very quick, yet somehow horrendously painful deaths, it did not fit his very rigid schedule.
The radiation was allowed to wreak havoc unchecked for nearly twenty years, until one day, thanks to the help of Dr. Iver and his team of highly trained scientists, a solution was found. NathanCorp brand radiation is simply too complex for humans to process, however, with a little bit of guidance the average man or woman is able to acclimate themselves and survive the ingestion of controlled amounts.
To make this process more achievable for those with busy lives and full schedules, NathanCorp designed the “Weekly Calibration”. Now, once a week, people may tune into a live broadcast specifically designed to help prevent them from exploding into clouds of pink mist. Join Your Fearless Leader, Dr. Iver, Jeremy the Lab Formed Doppleganger Son, Kyle Prime with his armada of identical clones, and DOGPSAW the prototype every Tuesday night at 10:00 P.M. Eastern Time from the official NathanCorp Facebook page for your dose of NathanCorp brand radiation. If you don’t, you run the risk of EXPLODING into CLOUDS of PINK MIST.